Joey's Life

Warning! Due to some potentially offensive content, this blog may not be suitable for all viewers. Use caution if you choose to read on, you have been warned!

Hi! My name is Joey and I am so glad to be here. I'm lucky to have a doctor who's ready to help with this stuff. Dr Jack Kaufmann is my friend, mentor, psychiatrist, pediatrician (even though I'm 29) and possibly more.

I bad groceries for a living at Fry's. Most people say I do a great job but some people say I'm too slow or sloppy with my work. I'm proud of my work. I work 32 hours per week. In my spare time I like to play sports, frisbee with my dog Dildo (who is a Collie, by the way like Lassie). My family didn't like my dog's name but I said there was nothing dirty about it and they said OK. I am in the Special Olympics. I play a variety of different sports in that league - Baseball, Frisbee, miniature golf, hot dog eating contest, etc.

I live in a home for ignorant people, as I like to say, even though I think I'm smarter than the rest. All of this special ed living was kind of a shock to me at first since I was not even in special ed as a kid. You see, I grew up in a small town in Tennessee and so my smarts and feelings were in the normal range there. I now live in Arizona which is a "normal" state, so I'm behind everyone here. But hey, that's OK, no one is perfect!

On occasion I like to prank people. My bratty neighbor used to have a cat and a dog, and when she was away I did some surgery on them to reverse their heads. She came home from her trip and screamed like the lady on the movie Psycho! I felt like Norman Bates at the time. I was in the bushes laughing and this lady will probably never be mean to me ever again. I sometimes prank insects too - I put a cork in a bee hive and its like their home turned into a prison! I decided to pull the cork out and it probably taught the bees a lesson about good manners. Bees of all types are one animal that could use an attitude adjustment, as my Dad has said before.

I used to have a neighbor who had pet moths. I accidentally ran them over with a lawnmower last summer and she shrieked so loud. I wrote an apology note a day later saying I'm sorry and she said that she forgives me but she doesn't want me mowing her lawn for a long time to teach me a lesson. Not a big deal since many neighbors let me mow their lawns for some extra money. Mowing lawns is fun! I liked the movie Lawnmower Man where this guy named Jobe is a kid at heart like me and then he changes so much later on.

My doctor and best friend Jack K has a niece with cerebral palsy. She is currently on her death bed because of a medical condition. Jack says he is already planning the meal for her funeral. Her name is Ann and she's a big fan of a band called Grinded Nig. I'm posting an interview of this band in memory of her.